After spending much of my career in general mental health, supporting clients through a wide range of challenges, I founded Lavender Grove Counselling with a clear intention: to create a space that centres and supports queer, trans, and neurodivergent individuals—especially those who hold more than one of these identities. Since 2022, we’ve been proud to offer LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent-affirming therapy in Vancouver and online.
This post explores why there’s a real and growing need for LGBTQ+ ADHD therapy—an intersectional approach that addresses both neurodivergence and queerness with the nuance they deserve. In future posts, I’ll also dive deeper into therapy for queer and trans folks with autism and other neurodivergent experiences.
Overlapping Challenges: LGBTQ+ and ADHD Experiences
There are more overlaps between queerness and ADHD than many people realize. Both groups often navigate social exclusion, struggle with self-esteem and identity development, and experience higher rates of trauma.
Many LGBTQ2S individuals grow up in environments that don’t affirm who they are. The lack of representation and support during formative years can leave deep emotional impacts. Without role models who share their experiences, queer and trans kids can grow up feeling isolated—especially if their families aren’t accepting.
Children with ADHD often face similar invalidation. Studies estimate that by the age of ten, kids with ADHD receive around 20,000 more negative messages—like “no,” “stop,” or “don’t do that”—than their neurotypical peers. That’s over five extra criticisms every single day, compounding over the years and eroding self-worth.
It’s no wonder that both groups commonly experience what we call complex trauma—a response to repeated invalidation and lack of safety. This can manifest in difficulties with executive functioning, emotional regulation, impulsivity, substance use, and navigating relationships.
Strengths That Deserve Recognition
Interestingly, both LGBTQ2S folks and people with ADHD often score higher on a personality trait known as openness to experience. This trait is linked with creativity, curiosity, and acceptance of differences—qualities that are absolutely strengths, not deficits.
Despite this, both groups still face different types of systemic exclusion. Neurodivergent people are often told they aren’t competent, while LGBTQ+ individuals are pressured to conform to heteronormative or cisnormative standards. In environments like school or work—where conformity is often rewarded—it’s hard to thrive when your full self isn’t seen or valued.
Many clients describe feeling like there’s a pane of glass between them and the world. It’s a disorienting feeling—being present, but never quite included. That’s where specialized LGBTQ therapy for ADHD comes in.
The Importance of Intersectional, Affirming Therapy
Mainstream ADHD resources often don’t account for queer or trans identities. They may be helpful with focus and time management tips, but they’re not equipped to support clients through things like coming out, navigating queer relationships, or coping with transphobia.
Similarly, not all LGBTQ+ spaces feel safe or inclusive for neurodivergent people. Sensory overload, unspoken social rules, and fears of rejection can make even affirming spaces feel overwhelming. Knowing what to say, how to stand, or how to “act” in these environments can become a barrier for those who already feel out of place.
This is where an affirming therapist can help. LGBTQ+ ADHD therapy acknowledges these intersections, creating a space where your sensory needs, communication style, identity, and history are all respected. Your therapist is there to validate your experience, help you navigate the world with less shame, and remind you that you are already enough.
Therapy That Helps You Unlearn Shame
Part of the work in LGBTQ therapy and ADHD counselling is gently unlearning harmful messages—whether those messages came from families, schools, workplaces, or society at large.
What happens when you grow up believing you’re too much, too loud, too weird, too emotional—or simply, not enough? Over time, these beliefs affect how you show up in relationships, at work, and even in your own inner dialogue.
With the support of a therapist who gets it, you can start exploring new core beliefs—ones rooted in self-worth, not shame. This doesn’t happen overnight, but the therapeutic relationship itself can be a powerful space for healing.
Practical Support: Assessments and Readiness Letters
At Lavender Grove Counselling, we also offer practical services that are often required for access to care. These include:
- ADHD assessments
- Hormone readiness assessments
- Surgical readiness letters for top surgery and gonadectomies (adults only)
For many trans and non-binary individuals, accessing HRT or gender-affirming surgery requires a letter from a qualified professional. Similarly, ADHD diagnosis and treatment—including medication—requires a formal assessment.
One of the criteria outlined by WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) is that any existing mental health concerns must be “well-managed.” Working with a supportive therapist is often the first step toward meeting that criteria and accessing the care you deserve.
Why Representation in Therapy Matters
Another reason why clients seek out ADHD counselling in Vancouver that’s queer- and trans-affirming is simple: they want a therapist who gets it. Someone who shares some part of their lived experience and won’t need to be educated from square one.
Several of our therapists at Lavender Grove and Stillwaters identify as both neurodivergent and LGBTQ+. Our clients often share that they’ve previously felt exhausted having to explain their identity, language, or community to a therapist who didn’t understand. For many, it’s a relief to finally be in a room where certain things are just known.
Of course, every therapist-client relationship is unique, and no therapist will know everything about your life. But when there’s a baseline of shared experience, therapy can feel safer, more efficient, and more connected.
You Deserve Therapy That Affirms All of You
Whether you’ve struggled to feel fully seen in traditional ADHD spaces, or you’ve felt out of place in queer or trans communities, know this: you’re not alone. You deserve therapy that affirms all parts of your identity.
If you think that LGBTQ+ ADHD therapy would support your needs, we’d love to connect with you. Reach out today to schedule a consultation—we’re here when you’re ready.