Religious Trauma Counselling: Common Struggles for Survivors

At Lavender Grove Counselling, we specialize in helping individuals—especially LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent folks—navigate the complex, often painful impact of religious trauma. These experiences can profoundly affect mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. While everyone’s journey is unique, many survivors of religious trauma share a few everyday struggles: shame, isolation, fear of punishment, difficulty trusting themselves or others, and a fractured sense of identity.

If this sounds familiar, please know that you’re not imagining it—and you’re certainly not alone.

Shame and Self-Blame: The Legacy of Control

In high-control religious environments, shame is often used as a method of control. People are taught that they are inherently sinful or broken, and their life’s purpose is to fix this supposed flaw. As a result, many survivors carry intense guilt and shame over perceived moral failings—feelings that often persist long after leaving the group.

This mindset can make adversity feel like punishment, reinforcing the idea that they are bad people who deserve bad things. Over time, this can have a significant impact on self-worth. Through trauma therapy in Vancouver, we gently begin to challenge this belief. One of the most powerful shifts in counselling is helping people realise that they were never bad to start with.

Anxiety and Depression That Doesn’t “Seem” Religious

Many survivors come to therapy thinking they just struggle with anxiety or depression, believing there’s something biologically wrong with them. What they often don’t realize is that their mental health challenges may be rooted in internalized beliefs from their religious upbringing—beliefs that tell them they are flawed, wrong, or even doomed.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, this pain is often compounded by messages that simply existing is a moral failure. Others grieve the years lost to fear, control, or repression. It’s also not uncommon for survivors to develop panic attacks, eating disorders, or other mental health symptoms. Trauma counselling in Vancouver can help connect the dots and start the healing process.

Broken Trust and the Fear of Rejection

Religious trauma often involves betrayal by trusted leaders or community members. This can leave deep scars, making it difficult to trust others or even oneself. Many survivors, especially those who came out as LGBTQ+ and were then rejected, live with a persistent fear that no matter how close a relationship feels, rejection is inevitable.

If manipulation, gaslighting, or spiritual abuse were part of your experience, it may feel nearly impossible to believe in your thoughts and feelings. Therapy helps rebuild that inner trust, one step at a time.

Reclaiming Identity After Spiritual Suppression

When your identity has been shaped—or suppressed—by a belief system, leaving it can feel like losing part of yourself. Many clients describe an intense period of confusion and existential crisis after stepping away from their faith community. LGBTQ+ survivors may have spent years hating or hiding who they were, trying to fit a mould that never truly fit.

There’s often a mix of relief and anxiety in discovering your values, interests, and community. Therapy provides a safe and affirming space to explore and reconnect with your identity without judgment.

Faith, Doubt, and Rebuilding Belief (or Letting Go)

Walking away from a high-control religion can bring about a crisis of faith. Many survivors feel anger, grief, or profound disillusionment as they begin to question everything they were taught. For some, this leads to abandoning their belief entirely. For others, it’s about finding a new, more authentic spirituality.

Without the religious framework to dictate morality, people often feel lost at first. In counselling, we explore what it means to create your ethical path—one that reflects who you truly are, not who you were told to be.

PTSD Symptoms and Somatic Reactions

Religious trauma can trigger symptoms commonly associated with PTSD: flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and hypervigilance. For example, some clients live with intense fears of hell, death, or “the rapture”—even if they no longer believe in those teachings.

These fears often live in the body, not just the mind. At Lavender Grove Counselling, we use evidence-based trauma therapy in Vancouver, including EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS), to help process and contain these symptoms in a way that feels manageable and empowering.

Struggling to Set Boundaries After a Culture of Obedience

In many religious communities, obedience is valued above all else. This can make it incredibly difficult for survivors to recognize and assert their boundaries, especially when interacting with family or friends who are still in the faith community.

Women and others who faced marginalization often find it most challenging to advocate for their needs. Yet setting boundaries is essential for healing and safety. Therapy helps build the skills—and the confidence—to do just that.

You Are Not Alone in This Journey

The effects of religious trauma are real, varied, and deeply personal. No two stories are exactly the same, and healing doesn’t follow a straight path. But support is available. Whether you’re struggling with identity, boundaries, or trust, trauma counselling in Vancouver can offer a space to unpack your experiences and start moving toward healing.

If any of this resonates with you, we invite you to reach out to a therapist at Lavender Grove Counselling. We’re honoured to walk alongside you on this journey of recovery.